What are you good at?
To know ones self is worth learning to be good at. This past week it has been more imprtant than ever! Havign given evidence in the high court London, about the attacks and gender based violence I experienced at the hands of a still serving police officer, includig intimidationn and attacks by a significant number of his assosciates and colleagues. In effect a group of people who to cover for their own offending against women and children, decided to cover for him so that they had leverage to not face prosecution in Hampshire.
The process was terrfiying and gruelling. Intimidation, death threats, attempts to murder and intereference with my life in France, mainly through computer hacking, changing government records and cause financial issues that have left me in the most difficult circumstances. Undeterred I gave the evidence. The huge number of records that evidenced lying and attacks by serving officers, medical professionals and social care workers, exposed the sickening extent of offending in governance. The findings without a doubt lend weight to judges invovled in cases of prosecuting other officers for sexual violence, gender based violence and assisting offenders by covering.
The court case meant me really having to dig deep. I have PTSD as a result of those attacks. the condtion requires daily management including really knowing myself, my triggers and keepig myself safe, not just from the intimidation , but from my condition becoming dangerous to my wellbeing. Usually his means clean sleep routines, regualat meals and minimising stress that can trigger an episode of distress. I am an expert in my own condition and how it affects me on day to day basis. Then this week after a period of recovery from the trauma of giving evidence. The criminals had their last ditch attempt to not settle the claim. The High Court found against the UK government. The issue of compensation the only remaining part of the case to finalised. Given the massive cost of the attacks to me emtionally, socially, financialy and most specifically the total destruction of every aspect of my life in England and Attempts to do so in France.
So instead of the assessment and closure of the case, Hampshire decided to have one last attempt to cause me to taje my own life ( they have several expert reports that make the risk very clear !!) The attempt was life the gang at school who get caught out dealing frugs and bullying kids. They try and have the final flurry before having to settle the final aspects of the case. I liken it to catching out a group who have been invovled in criminality, getting caught and then trying initimidation and then once convicted trying to have the last word because they are unhappy with the fine!!!!
Needless to say. As i have PTSD havng the unexpected visit and rather underhand issue from one the the attackers colleagues, I have a very unsettled week of distress and sleeplessness. Lets face it I know myself and my condition well. To thine own self be true is simply living in the truth and making decisions that are safe and correct for you. I am good at this. I perhaps should not have to face such difficulties from those people who should be delivering safety to our communities, not trying to cover for serious offences committed by colleagues. What a week month year and three years to really test how good I am at being true to myself !!!