What a combo, like a line from a film, Hollywood blockbuster meets party manifesto. Yet these three words and the concepts behind them are remarkably difficult to achieve, required constant work and are not a linear process. Inescapable truths are exactly what they say on the tin. A persons actions are an unescapable truth. Our word are undeniable and the thoughts behind both are the only part of the truth hidden, I suppose like the spirit of a written law or constitution.
So my actions are my truth, my words can be misinterpreted and this is perhaps true of every person. In fact many languages have more than one meaning for a word. This can complicate interpretation and perhaps the truth of the written or spoken word.
Yet the most overuse words are in my view I love you. What honestly does it mean. How do these words translate into the truth of the matter ? These two aspects of life are so closely interwoven. Is it really love to tell small untruths ? I have considered this over the years and I use this as my example for truth and love. Many years ago heavily medicated and hugely overweight. The meds to try and suggest that I was mad rather than traumatised ! I visited a doctor. It was about a small growth, that happily turned out to be benign. However during the consultation he looked me in the eye and said simply. You are fat, you are overweight and if you do nothing you are going to present with leg ulcers and other symptoms associated with medication induced diabetes. You will die prematurely.
I remember in that moment. the shock, I knew the doctor for many years, we had lived in area for almost twenty years. In that moment i realised what love is really, It’s the truth so, that the person can make informed decisions. Medicine is a very good example of this love in action. There is something about truth that speaks of love, that when the truth is removed or forbidden then so is love. When we are told the truth it sets us free, My example led to me stopping the medication and dieting to lose the weight. That truth saved my life.
The honesty is love and the freedom to choose is the outcome. I have loved a man for many years. In the beginning I lied but this was ultimately or protect him. I was scared to tell him the truth, because I could not bear for him to be hurt. Men I have loved were attacked in workplaces and in public by the police officer that attacked me all those years ago, or his assosciates. I could not bear for this to happen. I felt responsible for his welfare, So I lied told him I could not do a relationship with him. There really is love in that lie. However this was forced from a huge untruth that was recorded about me by police officers and social workers and council workers. That I was mad and that the police officer was not a rapist. These untruths and the attacks pushed me for the first time to lie about my feelings… Did it give him freedom ? No, because the truth always comes out in the end unless the person is trying to hide something for the wrong reasons.
The lies that were told about me restricted my freedom and ultimately disallowed me from telling the truth to the man I love most in the world. That truth was eventually told to the High Court and not threats to kill or attempted murder intimidation or threats was every going to stop me. The truth was important not just for my freedom but the freedom of my children, who also were forced to suffer in silence and abuse….
Now we are beginning to live in truth painful but with the beginnings of freedom….
Powerful reflections on truth and love. Your journey is inspiring, showing the transformative impact of facing truths. How did it change your perspective on love?
Thank you