A couple of months ago I purchased and collected my puppy from Birmingham. I duly called him Sam and happily blogged about our journey together.
He appeared in a website and was famous for a while. He pattered around the apartment as I prepared to take him to France for the winter to see the Alps. Then he started to pee pee alot and was very thirsty. He could not stand up to and I found him laid spread eagled with his little face in the bowl. I could see his little ribs poking even though he was eating.
I took him for his vet for check and vaccinations. The vet told me he had a kidney in the wrong place. She tried to reassure me that he could be ok, yet I knew that she was preparing me for the worst. Kidneys cannot be fixed.
Three weeks later Sam began to vomit after eating. He would hide away and bark and howl. His pee pee puddles became massive and he could not poo with it being very runny. He would not cuddle up. I knew he was very ill so to try and make his time fun we visited the boat, he had a swim in the sea. He slept in the cabin in his den and I carried him to visit places as he was struggling to walk.
Finally I took him for his follow up at he vet. he was emaciated and unable to walk more than a few paces. He was not in any pain, but snuggled with me in his blanket.
We discussed the options, which were for him to be put in a hospital. I could not let my puppy die in a pet hospital alone. So I took the decision to have him put down. The prognosis being that if he was not put down he would just stop eating and waste away. I could not allow that suffering.
So wrapped him in a blanket curled in my arms, he was given a sleepy shot. As he drifted off with me whispering to him, I barely managed to contain my tears. Then he was given the anaesthetic and slowly passed away as I cuddled him. I was sat on the floor in the corner of the room sobbing as I held him. Still his little puppy body weighing heavier as he passed in my arms brings tears to my eyes.
I did not know Sam for very long, however he was my special puppy and I loved him. After to cheer me up I went for coffee as usual and I saw my friend. I told him about Sam and I was saying it was difficult when people asked where my puppy is. He looked at me and said tell them you murdered him. This without a doubt made me laugh in shock. I have yet to give this explanation but I think given he was put to sleep I can see that this very dark humour may be useful.
I have some pics and am collecting his ashes soon. He shall be scattered at my special place. But not with a headstone saying that Sam whom I murdered is scattered here!! …