I make o secret of having been forcibly drugged and medicated for over a decade in England. The detox likely to have taken several years, except there is no blood test to check the levels of medication. I was assured by a doctor from outside of England, that after so long the medication residues would still be in bone tissue, marrow teeth and organs. Processed by the body slowly, as is the case with all drugs. So this slow release of medications, very possibly over after almost seven years, I ask what is the medicine to manage PTSD ? I have not been able to drink any alcohol due to the medication, the non drinking just stayed, I assosciate it with the horrors of that life, much the same as the medication. The assosciation is numbing the painful memories that have a habit of arriving without warning and producing emotional responses, ranging from quiet tears, a feeling of terror or restless sleep.
My medicine has become self care, warm bubble baths, fluffy bathrobes, a facial, tidying, writing and establishing routines that maintain as settled a nights sleep as possible, without the night terrors and irrational fears and anxiety. The diet is also a large part of the medicine, healthy, without over eating. Trying no to have too many biscuits !! The gyneacological health is also very important, after the attack a few years ago with the beating and most violent use of my cute pink vibrator, it cause tearing and bleeding of my vagina, personal I know, but with the bruises to my thighs buttocks and behind my knees, it was difficult to lay on my back and have an examnation. Maybe through the wounds being infected, I developed an infection, that my gynaecologist noted as a virus ( HPV) this can lead to cancer of the cervix, vagina or anus. The attack was so brutal that I was concerne that there was damage to my cervical area, the bleeding afterwards was profuse and over time developed to flooding, without pain. I sought treatment options from research from Iranian gynaecologists that healed the wounds and the bleeding stopped. It took almost twelve months to do so. With self examination, there is still some scarring of the perinium that likely tore, and irregualar inner labia, agian likely torn.
So the medicine was time and medical treatment from the middle east. However, the real issue that this raised was, the use of bdsm in relartionships in England is an illegal practice. R v Brown gives clear guidance that this most particularly relates to when there is an actual imbalance of power, not just in the acts themselves, alongside the presumption that consent cannot be given to assault. Now this dynamic was what the attacker used to try and derail my life, yet in truth he was a serial rapist and violent attacker, dressing uo his attacks as some sort of BDSM. Is the endorphin release from the pain principle, similar to the pain killing response of medications, really any sot of answer to managing PTSD trauman and emotional pain.
The answer is very clearly no, when the attacks are premeditated, to terrify a perosn into submission to disrupt their life. As was the case with the attack I sustained. However, there is no doubt that exploration of the ancient art of dominance and submission and rope play are valid expereinces of the human psyche, moreover that the many genres allow safe adult exploration of sexuality or psychology that would be totally unacceptable outside of such a dynamic.
I refer back to the horror of the child caned in public in my childhood. It was a horrific public attack of a child. Imagine if there was a way for the victim in adulthood to process that attack in a safe consensual way. There is such a way and it falls within the BDSM world. Now I have to differentiate her on the legal parameters of this activity. There is an entire worldwide ‘scene’, it includes men and women from every age group over eighteen years of age, on every continent in the world. It is not necessarily a sexual activity, including all manner of explorations of the human body. In England this is an illegal activity, referring to case law R v Brown 1992. This case law defined the inability for a person to consent to being assaulted outside of certain arenas. These included surgery ( when undertaken correctly not as part of a BDSM medical scene) contact sports such as rugby and boxing (albeit there is case law and supervision for these phyical activities to not fall into criminal violence). This law ONLY exisits because of men. The cae law is entirely based upon being able to prosecute men who attack other men with an unequal power dynamic. There is no mention of women at all. In fact the BDSM defence has sucessfully used to escape prosecution for killing women in a personal relationship. Yet more examples of the gender imbalance in law in England.
In other countries the practice of BDSM is celebrated across the gender divide, with education on consent and what consent looks like. However given that participants are usually processing historic trauma through play, it is fraught with dangers. The biggest danger is when a practice between private individuals, that has been historically the activity of warriors, is reintroduced into the policing and security of a nation. This idea is not to be undertaken lightly. It places the individuals involved in positions of great risk. Particularly where one is defined as a vulnerable adult in law and the other is not. Vulnerable adult being a person who is disgosed and has undergone some treatment for a recognised psychiartric disorder. Or any person under the age of twenty four who has been in the care of the state or other psychiatric treatment.
The case law involved ‘rent boys’ male prostitutes and members of the legal profession all male. The law really was there to ensure that males who experienced sexual based volence were prosecuted .In Brown those men involved were convicted only from video evidence of the recordings of there activities.The gender bias not lost on any woman who reads this case and the other case of Brown in the same year that allowed Rape of your wife annally or vaginally or with an implement unless she had managed to legally escape the marriage. These two cases define the gender inequality where judges (mainly males) are the highest legal authority of a country. This is unlike states where the law ( that does not allow rape in england ) is codified and the highest form, as is the case in France.
I make no secret of my utter distaste for gender imbalance in law in England and note that in America they are also experiencing the same issues with the overturning of R v WADE removing the legal right for a woman to have an abortion. This they seek to codify. The encompassing of the EU laws after Brexit, including England still being subject to human rights legisaltion is of massive importance for women and children. This offers some route to equal treatment in law, where the case law of a state seeks to discriminate and provide legal remedy without equality or in some cases equity.
I called this piece Medicine, Because there is no doubt the release of hormones that are experienced during BDSM play are the same neurotransmitters that are targeted by medications, particularly psychiatric medications for trauma. However in practice, like all medicines there are risks. The risk is death and since the majority of Tops, Doms, Daddies and the like are male, the subs, littles etc… usually female or vulnerable adults. Then there are very real risks to this activity. Harnessing for use by the state in cases, see R v Brown is gender discrimination in action and as in my case left me beaten, raped and left bleeding by a man emplyed by the state. To try and stop me speaking up about men who offended against children and potentially women and vulnerable adults. In my view that is never Medicine, its a gender based crime and always shall be……